Did you ever have a day?

Phoenix_rising_from_its_ashes[1]Did you ever have a day where life seemed to sneak up on you, tap you on the shoulder, then smack you across the face?  I don’t mean life altering happenings such as accident, injury, death, or destruction.  Those are being run over by a Zamboni days.  Those are earth shattering days.  I’m not talking about that.

Instead, did you ever have a day when you were walking along contentedly holding your hopes and dreams by a string, much as a big happy red balloon, only to have a sudden gust of wind rip the string from your fingers?  You are helpless as you watch it drift further and further out of reach, finally disappearing from view.

Did you ever have a day when you aren’t sure if God is saying “not yet” or “not ever?”

Did you ever have a day where all you wanted to do was crawl back in bed, cover your head with the sheet, and bawl like a baby?

Did you ever have a day when discouraging thoughts, confusion, bewilderment, and hopelessness danced around your brain like wild gypsies around a bonfire?

Did you ever have a day where you wondered if years of planning, learning, and dreaming was a waste of time?

Did you ever have a day when you had to search your heart to discover whether you’d be willing to lay down all dreams and hopes for the future and walk away from them?

Did you ever have a day when that thing you’d been longing for, for ever so long, was snatched away just as you got to the point of not only seeing it and smelling it, but nearly holding it in your hand?

Did you ever have a day when you knew you were to “Delight yourself in the Lord”, but lacked the motivation and energy, and even the know-how, to do that?

Did you ever have a day when God just seemed so confusing, unfathomable, and far away?

Did you ever have a day when hope and despair wrestled in a cage MMA style, despair winning point after point while hope was being grounded and pounded into submission?

Do you know what I’m talking about?  You are deflated by life.  Your balloon was popped and you discovered there was never anything there of substance, just hot air holding the thing aloft.  What do you do?  There are many options:

Eat.  Ben & Jerry’s.  Mrs. Fields.  Chef Boyardee.  Sara Lee.

Sleep.  Go back to bed and pull those covers over your head and hope for a better day tomorrow.

Exercise.  Run, run, and run some more until the sweat stings your eyes and your lungs and calf muscles cry out for you to stop.

Cry.  Get puffy eyes, bulbous red nose, and a tension headache across your forehead and the back of your neck.

Read.  Immerse yourself in someone else’s fantasy life where all is resolved in less than 500 pages.

Write.  Put every thought on paper.  Purge.

Pray.  God is silent, yet in your heart you know He is still listening.

Trust.  God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  His character is revealed in the Bible for all to see.  He doesn’t change.  His ways are a mystery to our feeble minds.  Console yourself in the fact that while you don’t understand it, He still has a plan.

Wait.  There isn’t anything else to do.  Life isn’t a 30 minute television episode where all loose ends get tied up neatly.

Endure.  Life is an endurance race.  We learn lessons along the way.  Some easy.  Some tragically hard.  Hold on tight.  White knuckle it.  Keep breathing.

Hope.  Realize that all is not lost.  All is not over.  New dreams can rise from shattered dreams, like the fabled phoenix from the ashes.  The tiny ember that you’d thought had burned out completely is still glowing.  It will burn brightly again with new hope for new dreams.

Did you ever have a day when you woke up and discovered you didn’t hurt as much any more?

Did you ever have a day when you realized that the birds are still singing and the grass is still green, and that giant yellow sunflowers are once again warming their faces in the sun’s golden rays?

Did you ever have a day where you dissolved in tears because your heart once again became aware of how much God loves you, has compassion for you, and was hurting for you as you hurt?

Yeah.  I’m having a day.  Yet, I hope.  I breathe.  I put one foot in front of the other and keep going.  I trust.  I relax.  I wait.  I write.  I hit the publish button just in case anyone else may read this.  Someone else who is having a day.

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2 thoughts on “Did you ever have a day?

  1. Bobbie

    Thank you Leslie, I know what you mean.!!! I thank God that He let me meet you and Ken all those years ago. I will never forget you guys. Tomorrow is my Kenney’s Birthday and he will be 27years old. Remember he is names after Ken. I pray you all will have a very blesses Thanksgiving. Love you both, Bobbie

    • Wow! 27 already. Love you back, and thanks for reading!

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